The desert your dentist will love to hate on

Every kid loves Roald Dahl’s dark, twisted and hilariously grotesque stories, right? Or was that just me? I love that he got right to the crux of what kids really like, there’s no pink fluff or fairy godmothers in his stories, no sir. Instead there are disappearing twits, shrinking grandmothers, squish-able aunts and other villains coming to raucous, violent and; let’s be honest; hilariously funny ends.

One of my very favourite characters is Violet Beauregarde, maybe because I can relate to poor ‘oul Violet a little more than I’d care to admit. For those of you who don’t know, Violet, a serial gum-chewer, won a golden ticket to visit Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.  But poor Violet comes to a colourful end when she insists on trying a prototype gum that doubles as a three course meal. Long story short, she sweals up, turns into a blueberry and has to be rolled away…. to be juiced.

I love the idea that you could eat so much of something, you could turn into it. I’m pretty sure it can’t actually happen, at least, I haven’t turned into a lump of chocolate just yet; although I do have a friend who insists her skin once started to turn orange after she over dosed on carrot juice.

Well, eating tonnes of this yummie desert won’t turn you into a blueberry, but it will turn your teeth and tongue a jaunty shade of purple. Hence why your dentist won’t like it, but I bet your friends will find it hilarious.

I threw this together after The Fella’s mother gifted me a whole bucketful of blueberries (yes, I am a very lucky girl). It’s like a cross between a fool and a fruit crumble, mainly because I couldn’t quite decide on what to make, but it doesn’t matter what it’s called because it is deeeelicious. I think it would work with any summer berry, especially raspberries, so if you’re not lucky enough to be gifted a pile of blueberries in the morning, feel free to mix it up, your teeth can take it.

Little pots of blue

Makes 6


100 g rolled oats
50 g almond meal
25 g wholemeal flour
50 g butter, melted
1 tbsp brown sugar
275 g blueberries
1 tbsp caster sugar
1 tbsp Cointreau
1 tbsp lemon juice
a pinch of freshly ground black pepper
250 g crème fraîche

Mix the oats, ground almonds, flour, butter and brown sugar all together in a bowl until the mixture comes nicely together. Spread this mixture evenly out over some baking paper in a large baking dish and toast under the grill for five minutes or until the mixture is nicely toasted,  crispy and golden (you may need to give it a bit of a mix to ensure it all toasts evenly). Set aside and allow to cool.

Meanwhile, place the blueberries, caster sugar, Cointreau, lemon juice and pepper (yes pepper, just do it!) into a small saucepan and cook over a gentle heat for 5-8 minutes. You want the blueberries to start turning into a sweet and runny compote type thing, but you don’t want them to burst, so you’ll have to keep a close eye on them. Also, feel free to vary the sugar and/or lemon juice content to your taste. The Cointreau really is the secret ingredient here, it adds such a fabulous and subtle flavour to the mixture, don’t leave it out whatever you do! Once the mixture is ready, set aside and allow it to cool.

Once everything has cooled down, simply layer the crumble, the crème fraîche and the blueberries together in a pretty glass.

These will keep in the fridge for a few hours, but not much longer or the crumble will start to go a bit soggy. So gobble them all up, quick as you can, go on, blue teeth will suit you!


You might also like:

Strawberry and blueberry clafoutis

Messy meringue

Raspberry and almond cheesecake

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12 thoughts on “The desert your dentist will love to hate on

  1. I have fond memories of reading RD with a torch, hidden under my covers because I was supposed to be asleep. Danny the Champion of the World is my favourite 😀 This looks absolutely fantastic – seriously loving the cointreau (and the cheeky use of pepper)! Will have to give this a try soon as there are some very tasty looking blueberries in the fridge atm

    • I have a confession – I was totally scared of Danny the Champion of the World until I was about 10, I couldn’t read it at all!! I’m not entirely sure why; and 10-year-old me would have denied it to the ends of the earth, obviously. I think it was something to do with Danny’s Dad leaving him at home alone at night, clearly had thinly veiled abandonment issues! My favourites were George’s Marvellous Medicine and The Twits, in fact The Twits still makes me laugh. Bird pie anyone?!

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